thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You need Xanax blowdarts
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
