it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
