the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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