Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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