even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
