Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
