apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
