no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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