no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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