I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
