Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
