The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
