I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
