loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
