i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
