I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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