mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
it's great music for shaving your balls
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
