YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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