Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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