Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
