How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
