I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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