I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
