Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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