I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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