I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
