I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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