i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
