Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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