I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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