The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
