I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
