A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
