we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think my vagina is haunted
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
