wat bout pragnant strippers??
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dignity is for republicans.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think my moral compass just broke
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