you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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