In the future we'll all be gay
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
