margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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