Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
