Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
