The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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