You're my little dorito
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just googled if crying burns calories
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
