Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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