jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
