I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
