i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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