why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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