she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
