Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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