Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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