I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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